I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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