Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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