the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize