last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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