she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
