he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
