Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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