I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
