just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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