This girl is more easily done than said...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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