Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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