Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
