The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
