You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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