Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
