a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
