i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
barbara walters just said penis...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
