it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
