Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
