After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
