Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
