just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
