just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
