so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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