Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
