Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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