No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
