Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
areolas are like halos for boobs.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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