Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
