How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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