dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
