Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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