I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
