I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
