Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
