K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
