And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
