help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
