Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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