Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
