Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
