Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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