I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
