Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Plan B is the new Plan A
i already hear my dad disowning me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
