if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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