And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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