you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
