ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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