just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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