No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
