Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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