Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
