My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
this is an emotional support booty call
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
