Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
