im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How's work?
Spinning.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize