I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
