So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Randomize
