I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
