Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
