Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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