It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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