Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize