Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
