Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
