May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
