shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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