did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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